


A Strange Journey Begins With A Single Step (To The Right)

by Rose_the_Hat



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bottom Jensen, Crossdressing, Inspired by a Movie, M/M, Top Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-19 02:00:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3592062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_the_Hat/pseuds/Rose_the_Hat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jensen's life is turned upside down in only 24 hours after an encounter with Jared.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Strange Journey Begins With A Single Step (To The Right)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but by no means a strict retelling. 
> 
> ***Special thank yous have to go out to candygramme for her beta skills. And to kinkajou for her spectacular art. Thank you, ladies. You are stars!***

 

Jensen waved as the car carrying his newly married best friend away. Beside him his boyfriend of nearly six years, Justin, waved as well, a smile on his face. It seemed all his friends were married these days. Jensen wasn’t sure if he wanted to get married or not. He hoped Stephen and Katie’s wedding hadn’t given Justin any ideas. Marriage was the next logical step, but it terrified Jensen. He didn’t want to examine why too closely. There was warmth and affection between them but rarely passion. Justin said passion was fleeting and a steady relationship with a dependable partner was what was important. Jensen found that hard to disagree with. Their lives were well-ordered and settled but different than he thought they'd be. He imagined love as being this powerful all-encompassing feeling, and although Jensen knew Justin loved him, he wasn’t the most demonstrative of men. 

They had something of a storybook relationship. They met as juniors in high school after having been paired up as lab partners for AP Chemistry, and lasted through college. Now, they had a nice new place together in Austin and were settling into their life as an adult couple, both with entry level positions for the Results Consulting Group, though in different departments, ready to work their way up the corporate ladder. 

Justin sighed and draped an arm across Jensen’s shoulders as the limo drove away. “That’s all of them isn’t it?” he asked. “All our friends hitched.”

“Yep,” Jensen affirmed with a slight nod. 

“We better head home if we want to have any hope of getting there at a decent hour.”

Jensen was a little disappointed. The reception was still going on, and would continue to go on into the wee hours, and Jensen wanted to stay for awhile longer. Dusk was deepening towards dark, and both of them had to be at work early tomorrow. They reached Justin’s non-descript sedan. Jensen thought the left rear tire looked a little soft but didn’t think anything of it. He was on tenterhooks waiting for his boyfriend to broach the subject of marriage for them.

Justin started the engine. The radio came on, tuned to some talk show, and some redneck talking about how Obama was selling the country to the terrorists, the Chinese, or some other crackpot theory.  
Jensen rolled his eyes. The backasswards politicians made him ashamed of his state. He was glad when Justin turned it off. 

They drove in silence, Jensen relaxing more with every mile between them and the reception. They had a long drive ahead of them from Denton back to Austin. They had been up at the crack of dawn and on the road to get to the ceremony, and Jensen was not what anyone would call an early riser. He settled down into the seat, rested against the door, and closed his eyes. He felt Justin’s warm hand on his thigh give a squeeze before returning to the wheel. The hum of the wheels on pavement, and the motion of the car lulled him to sleep. 

A crack of thunder woke him from his doze, looking around, startled and confused. “What the fuck?” He exclaimed. 

Justin was driving slowly and carefully down a rutted road, but it was so _dark_. No other cars seemed to be around, and no houses or businesses either; the car’s powerful headlights did little to cut through the blackness. The rain came down in sheets, making it sound as if they were inside a kettledrum. The wipers were doing their best, but it was a losing battle. Myriad lightening flashes lit up the sky bright as day for an instant before being followed by peals of thunder loud enough to wake the dead. 

“It blew up a few minutes ago. Just a sprinkle at first, then _this_.” He motioned through the windshield at the gale going on around them. 

“Well, pull over until it lets up,” Jensen said. A summer storm in Texas would burn itself out before too long. He just hoped it wouldn’t spin up a twister, not while they were in a car and vulnerable. 

Lightning flashed a little too close by for Jensen’s liking, blinding him for an instant, accompanied by a crack of thunder and a fiery flash. The sound of splintering wood was lost in the boom of thunder, and a massive tree limb crashed down across the road immediately ahead of them. 

“Holy shit!” Justin shouted, swerving hard to the right, missing the falling branch by inches. 

There was another bang, only this one Jensen recognized as a tire blow out. Justin struggled to maintain control of the car as it began to hydroplane. His knuckles were white on the wheel, but, to his credit, he appeared calm. Only his wide eyes and how frequently he was swallowing betrayed that image. Jensen’s heart pounded blocking out the sound of the storm raging around them. He reached over and knotted a fist into Justin’s blazer. His other hand flung out blindly against the dashboard, as if bracing for impact. 

Almost as fast as it happened, it was over. Justin regained control of the car and brought it to a stop.  
“Holy, shit! Holy, Holy shit.” He turned to Jensen, eyes wide. “Are you all right?”

Jensen nodded, adrenaline making his mouth taste like he had sucked on a roll of pennies. “Yeah,” his voice was low, but steady. “Tire blew out.”

“Aw, damn it, and the spare is flat. I knew I should have gotten it fixed. Fuck.”

“Call Triple A.”

Already the storm was dying down, moving away, the thunder not as loud, and the lightning not quite as frequent. The rain had slacked off considerably to a soft gentle patter against the roof and windows. 

Justin took out his cell, the bright screen lighting up the interior of the car. “Damn. No reception. Are you getting service?”

Jensen took out his own phone and saw no bars. “No. Maybe the storm took out a cell tower.”

Justin nodded. “Probably right.” 

Jensen looked around. They were no longer on the interstate, nor any sort of highway. Instead they seemed to be on an empty country road. “I don’t remember this from our drive up here. Are we lost?”

“Jensen, it is impossible to get lost this day and age.”

“Then where are we?”

“We are,” Justin consulted his phone. “Oh, GPS isn’t working. That doesn’t mean we’re lost.”

“Well, we can’t just sit here.” Jensen opened his car door and moved to get out.

“We can’t walk in this either.”

“The storm isn’t so bad now. Maybe there’s a convenience store nearby, we can call a tow truck and find out where we are.”

Jensen couldn’t help but feel a little excited, like embarking on an adventure. Maybe they would meet a quirky old country family who would take them in, wrap them in blankets, and give them hot cocoa. The husband would give them a lift back to their disabled car in his older model Ford pickup and help them get back on the road. Of course it could end up like the _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_ too, but Jensen preferred to be optimistic. Texas was full of good people willing to lend a helping hand. 

“You’re probably right. Lock up, though.” Justin turned off the car, locked the doors and rolled up the windows. The alarm chirped as he engaged it. 

They hadn’t been walking for more than a few minutes and were already soaked to the skin, their suits most likely ruined, and shoes sloshing and squishing with each step. As they walked at least four cars passed them but none stopped when Justin and Jensen tried to flag them down. Confident the drivers were going somewhere up ahead they kept on. It was kind of nice, though with the sound of the rain and the soft distant rolls of thunder. Jensen took Justin’s hand. 

“I am sorry this happened, Jensen. I got an alert there was a bad pileup on the interstate and wanted to avoid it. I found a route around it, but apparently Apple maps was wrong, and now I’ve gotten us lost.”

“It’s okay.” He gave Justin’s hand a squeeze. “We’ll find some help and be home soon enough.”

After nearly a couple of miles the road branched off into a long graveled driveway. At the head was a big rambling farmhouse— _Texas Chainsaw_ , Jensen’s mind supplied. But it wasn’t. Lights blazed from every window, the house seemed to be in good repair, and the soft lavender and pink trim paintjob was visible by the light of the sickle-shaped moon. Jensen wasn’t sure what to think of whoever lived here other than they certainly had personality. The two of them turned down the drive, their strides speeding up. The closer they got they could hear music pumping; closer still and happy screams and shouts of revelers could be heard. There were a couple of dozen vehicles parked helter-skelter in and around the front yard. It looked as if it had been a ranch once, but no more. The paddocks were empty, and the barn and stables off in the distance had an unused quality to them. 

As climbed the steps onto the porch, the deep thump of bass could be felt as well as heard. It sure sounded like one hell of a party. Jensen hoped the host or hostess wouldn’t mind he and Justin crashing it.

Justin paused in their approach. “I don’t know, Jensen. Maybe this is one of those underground rave parties. I doubt we’d be welcome. Maybe we should get back to the road.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. Underground rave party or not, there were people a stone’s throw away, and those people would have cell phones or maybe a landline phone in the house. Only a fool would turn back. “We are lost, and our car is disabled. You want to walk for who knows how long until we get to _another_ place?”

Looking resigned, Justin pressed the doorbell; Jensen doubted anyone inside heard it over the tumult. 

“Maybe we should just go in,” Jensen suggested. One hell of a party was going on, so it stood to reason the door would be unlocked so guests could come and go.

Ever polite and proper, Justin lifted a fist and knocked. “Hello? We need some help, please!”

The storm had brought some cooler air with it, and Jensen began to shiver in his wet clothes. Losing patience, he reached out for the doorknob and twisted it.

The door opened onto a wide foyer, and a blast of sound, nearly bowling them over, greeted them. The bass beat in Jensen’s chest like a second heart. Jensen tugged Justin inside, their wet clothes dripping all over the hardwood floor. Beyond the entryway was huge room crowded with people dancing and grinding. Jensen rarely attended parties during college or frequented gay clubs and bars but this party seemed to be a combination of both. There were three men grinding together in a sensual dance. The man in the middle was naked to the waist being kissed, and licked by his partners as their hands roamed each other’s bodies. Jensen gaped, stunned but intrigued, wondering what must it be like to be so free and open. The more he looked the more he saw. His eyes widened when he saw a man on his knees sucking another man’s cock right there for all to see. In the corner was a woman, Jensen assumed it was a woman by the high breathy cries and slender ankles and legs, wrapped around a man’s waist being fucked hard and fast. 

“My sweet Lord,” Justin exclaimed. “We gotta get out of here. This is some sort of _orgy_! ”

Their arrival had gone unnoticed until Justin’s outburst. Like dominos, heads turned toward them, and in a matter of seconds the gyrating, grinding, hedonistic mass had ceased its activities and now stared at them, some people appeared curious, others puzzled, but those close enough to hear Justin’s remark were pissed. 

“Well, well, well, who have we here?” A deep drawling voice said. 

The crowd parted for an impossibly tall man, made even more so by the four inch heels he was sashaying—there was no other word for it—around in. His long legs were wrapped in fishnets. A garter belt encircled his slim hips holding up his stockings. His tiny panties only emphasized the bulge of an impressive cock. His muscled chest tapered down to a trim waist, accentuated by the deep purple corseted bustier he wore and a pink and purple feather boa was draped across broad shoulders. 

Part of Jensen was repelled by the man, but a larger part was intrigued, and maybe even a little turned on. He radiated confidence and sexual energy and it was obvious he was completely comfortable in his own skin, and his outrageous attire. Jensen wasn’t sure what pronouns would be acceptable. The man’s cock proclaimed him as biologically a male, but he presented as a woman dressed in women’s clothing with heavy makeup, though fabulously applied to highlight his sharp vulpine features and sardonically smiling mouth. His fingernails were the same deep red as his lips. His long brown hair was full and fell in layers around his angular face. A thick diamond choker glittered around his neck and his long fingered hands sported several large-stoned rings. 

If Jensen knew the person’s name he would know what pronouns to use. He wouldn’t want to offend their host anymore than their unwanted and uninvited presence already had. Jensen didn’t think he was in the presence of a transgendered person. A drag queen, Jensen decided. 

“Hi, sorry to bust in on your party,” Jensen began with a smile. “We just came from a wedding and got a little lost in the storm. To make matters worse, our tire blew out, and we don’t have a spare.”

The drag queen’s eyes zeroed in on Jensen, locked with his. Jensen’s breath caught in his throat to be the target of such intensity. “Caught with a flat. How ‘bout that?” The man raised an artfully penciled on brow. Jensen couldn’t tell if they were being mocked or not. 

“Good evening,” Justin greeted, sounding stiff and overly polite. “I’m Justin Hartley, and this is my…friend, Jensen Ackles.” He extended his hand. 

The party host took Justin’s offered hand and shook, making a face. “Pleasure to meet the both of you.”

“Do you have a phone we might use?” Justin asked charging ahead with their reason for being here. 

Jensen couldn’t help but scowl. He wanted to mix and mingle. He looked around at the party attendees; there were more drag queens, a few drag kings, some guests in regular clothes, and some near naked. This seemed like a lively and fun atmosphere, and they were unwelcome and intruding. Most of the party guests had gone back to their drinking, dancing, or fucking, but some still watched them curiously, like they didn’t know what to make of them. 

“What’s your name?” He asked the tall drag queen. 

The man—Jensen would amend pronouns if corrected—gave an arrogant head toss, and his eyes sparkled with humor and sexual mischief. “Ima, darling. Ima Sogai.”

Jensen paused, rolling the name around in his mind. Ima. Ima So…gai… I’m’a so gay. 

“Oh, for the love of heaven,” Justin muttered. Jensen chuckled but Justin shot him a glare. Jensen dropped his eyes and smothered his smile with a hand. 

“You’re wet,” Ima observed. 

“It’s _raining_ , or didn’t you just hear Jensen tell you there was a storm,” Justin said. 

Ima, for all the world, didn’t seem to give one shit about Justin standing there. Her eyes devoured Jensen as a starving man would a thick juicy steak. Heat rushed to his cheeks, and a little farther south. In their years together he didn’t think Justin had ever looked at him like that. It was heady and thrilling. 

“We really should get you out of those wet things. Crystal! Oliver!” She called. Moments later another drag queen with longish blond hair and blue eyes, and dressed in a flirty maid’s uniform along with a drag king in a glittery tuxedo and tails with a top hat tipped at an insouciant angle, who had long dark hair spilling over his small shoulders, appeared from the crowd.

“These are my very dear friends Miss Crystal Balls and Oliver Klozoff. These poor darlings got a flat tire and walked here in the rain. Help them out of their wet clothes, would you, my sweets?” 

“Get your hands off me!” Justin snapped at the drag king attempting to help him undress. He realized then that Justin was uncomfortable. Though he might be gay, for the most part Justin spurned the more outrageous parts of the community. “Jensen, we’re leaving!” He reached for Jensen, but Jensen moved away.

“No!” Jensen took off his soaked suit jacket and loosened his tie as Crystal took to unbuttoning Jensen’s shirt with obvious relish. “What‘s the point of going back to the car anyway? The road back is blocked, and we don’t even know where we are.”

“Have you lost your _mind_?”

“I’m wet and cold. I’m getting out of these clothes. You should, too, before you get sick.” He stripped off his undershirt. His nipples peaked in the cool air. Ima’s eyes took on a predatory gleam. 

Justin goggled at him. Oliver made another attempt to divest Justin of his own wet clothes. Justin squawked like a scalded duck but slipped out of his blazer. “Well if this… _woman_ would let us use the phone—a reasonable request—.” Justin cut hateful eyes to Ima, venom in each word. “We could be on our way!”

Ima just gazed at Justin, head tilted to the side a little, seeming a trifle bored with him. Jensen wanted to giggle. He continued to undress, unbuttoning and unzipping his slacks, so they slid down his legs. He kicked out of them and toed off his sodden shoes. Ima’s eyes made a slow, hungry trek down Jensen’s nearly naked body. She licked her deep red lips. Crystal handed Jensen a towel. He smiled. “Thanks.” Jensen said, toweling off his hair.

“You’re welcome, gorgeous,” Crystal said. 

Justin made an indignant sound as a lithe well-muscled man dressed only in a shiny gold Speedo and matching boots came to stand next to Ima. He had platinum blond hair with dark roots starting to show and pretty blue eyes. The newcomer was tall, but Ima in her heels towered over everyone. 

“Oh, Tommy!” Ima said, rapturously flinging her arms around the blond stud, kissing him soundly on the cheek. Jensen felt a pang of jealousy, but he was also mildly curious as to what kind of lipstick Ima was wearing that wouldn’t leave a print on Tommy’s cheek after receiving such an enthusiastic smooch. “There you are, my gorgeous specimen of manhood.” Ima ran a long-fingered hand through Tommy’s bleached locks. “You’re going to need a touch-up soon.” 

He flashed Jensen and Justin a tight smile. Jensen couldn’t decide if he was uncomfortable with Jensen and Justin’s presence, or if he might be uncomfortable in his skimpy attire. If Jensen looked like that he’d strut around in a Speedo too. _Flaunt it_ , he thought, doing a mental finger snap, and had to stifle a bubble of laughter. 

Ima turned her attention back to Jensen and Justin. “Darlings, this is Tommy, something of a pet project of mine. I’m trying to bring him _out_ of that dreary closet, but at times he seems determined to go right back in.” Ima rolled her pretty eyes, but found Jensen once more and winked. Jensen winked back. “Honey, this is…. I’m sorry what were your names again?” 

“Jensen Ackles,” Jensen said. “And that’s Justin Hartley.”

“Tom Welling,” the blond man said, shaking each of their hands in turn.

“I have a fabulous idea! Jenny and Justy will stay here tonight night, and in the morning we can call the mechanic and see about getting your car fixed and on your way back home!” She clapped, approving her own plan. 

“No! I’m not staying another _second_ in this funhouse!” Justin ejaculated, shoving Crystal away. For a second Jensen thought he saw Ima’s bubbly exterior cloud with anger, but it was gone in a blink, and that droll, unimpressed expression returned. “Jensen are you coming with me or not?”

Jensen wrapped the towel around his hips. “No, Ima and her friends have extended us hospitality, and I am taking her up on it. Thank you, Ima.”

Ima grinned a slow wolfish grin, dimples appearing in her cheeks. “You’re more than welcome, sugar.” 

“Look, it’s well past dark,” Tom said. “You’ll not find a motel near here, and no tow truck is going to be able to get to you before the morning, because of the storm. The house is plenty big enough for you both to stay. I’m sure it’s not an ideal plan, but you can’t mean to sleep in a car all night.”

Justin looked at Tom, eyes lingering over his muscled chest, tight shimmering Speedo and long legs with a certain interest, maybe even hunger. Jensen supposed he should be jealous, even angry, that his partner would look at another man that way. But all Jensen really felt was a mild shock coupled with a distant amusement; he hadn’t thought Justin capable of such heat. He was more interested in the attention Ima was giving him. If Ima noticed her boytoy was eyefucking Justin she didn’t seem to care. But then Ima herself was busy eyefucking Jensen. 

When Justin spoke it was lower than usual. He tried to maintain his bluster, but it was clear his distaste had left him. “Perhaps you’re right, Tom.” He seemed to steel himself as if going into battle against a dragon, and turned to Ima. “Miss Sogai, Jensen and I thank you for your hospitality.” His smile was so fake and forced it was a wonder he managed it at all. 

“Marvelous. Crystal, show our charming guests to a room upstairs.” Ima turned her attention back to Tommy, nuzzling his neck and tweaking a nipple. Arousal pooled in Jensen’s stomach imagining those hands on him, or that garnet-red mouth. 

Crystal Balls crooked a finger and led them to the wide staircase. The crowd had swallowed up Ima and Tommy, but Jensen caught a glimpse of her on her knees, kissing below Tommy’s navel. Tommy, on the other hand was following them with his gaze as they climbed the stairs. They made their way down a hallway, moans and cries of pleasure seeped through the closed doors they passed.

“Are Tommy and Ima married?” Justin inquired of their escort. 

“Ima’s not married, and I doubt she ever will be. She likes her fun.”

“What about you?” Jensen asked. 

“I am indeed. To Oliver, known as Sophia when not in drag.”

“And what’s your name, when not in drag, Crystal?” Jensen asked even as Justin heaved a put upon sigh, like he couldn’t understand why Jensen would be interested in a bunch of hedonistic drag queens. Maybe he didn’t. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Nope. I don’t mind. I’m Chad Murray. Nice to meet ya.”

“Does Ima have these parties often?” Jensen asked as they climbed a shorter stairway. 

“God, no. This is just her way of blowing off some steam.” Crystal turned on the landing and stopped in front of a closed door. She gave a sharp rap of her knuckles. “This room occupied?” When no one answered she opened the door and flipped on the light. It was a modest-sized room with handsome oak furniture, the focal point being the bed with a blue down comforter and piled with pillows. There was a squat little window in the west wall, with a bookcase under it and a wingback chair beside it.

“You can crash here.” Crystal smiled. “And if you don’t want anyone coming in and joining you for the evening, lock your door. People tend to go and come…and come and go during these little soirees. If you know what I mean.” She winked. 

A moment later a man dressed only in a pair of smiley face boxer shorts sauntered in. He gave Jensen and Justin a friendly wave before grabbing Crystal and giving her a passionate kiss. Crystal clutched the man and kissed back just as ardently. Jensen watched them unabashed, while Justin looked everywhere but at the kissing pair. Jensen didn’t know why any display of affection seemed to make Justin uncomfortable. 

“I’ll find you later,” the bald man panted, his mouth still pressed close to Crystal’s. 

“Mmm, can’t wait,” Crystal said with a smack to the man’s ass. Just as quickly as he'd appeared, he was gone. 

“A friend of yours?” Justin asked accusation evident in his hard tone. 

“That’s Mike. Also known as Kitty Catt when he’s in drag. We fuck from time to time.” 

“But you are _married_! Have you no respect for your vows? What about your wife?”

Jensen cringed in embarrassment. It wasn’t Justin’s place, nor his own, to judge how others lived their lives, especially their intimate lives. He did hope they used condoms though. 

Crystal’s blue eyes which had been warm and affable before were now chips of ice, but when she spoke her voice betrayed nothing. “Oh, I’m sure Oliver is around with one of her fuck buddies, too. You really need get the stick out of your ass and your boyfriend’s dick in it.” Justin gaped like a fish. Crystal shot a grin at Jensen, and Jensen flashed one in return. 

“Freshen up, come down to the party if you want,” Crystal continued, addressing Jensen more so than Justin now. “There’s food and booze, and it’s free. You don’t have to be in drag to come just have to wanna cut loose and have fun.” She glanced briefly at Justin. “If you just wanna chill up here, that’s okay, too.”

“Thanks,” Jensen said. He nudged Justin. 

“Thank you, Miss…Balls.”

Crystal left with a little shake of her ass, her short poofy skirt swishing around her thighs. 

When the door clicked shut behind her, Justin huffed a laugh and raked a hand through his short blond hair. “This is a damned madhouse, and the inmates are runnin’ the asylum.” He strode over to the door and locked it. 

The music and shouts of the party-goers downstairs drifted up, somewhat muted by the two floors between them. The groans of ecstasy from surrounding rooms were louder. Jensen was curious what could be going on in those other rooms to wring those sounds from the occupants. He didn’t think he’d ever made any sounds like than during his and Justin’s lovemaking. 

All of a sudden Jensen was hit with such a wave of discontent so strong he had to sit down. Most of the party attendees were of an age with Jensen, and yet they were carefree, expressing who they were, loving who they desired, even if it was only for one debauched night. They were having more fun than Jensen ever had. 

“Can you _believe_ these people?” Justin shuddered. 

“What?” Jensen asked. “They are at a _party_. They are having _fun_. Do you even remember fun?”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Jensen, bed hopping is not fun, nor is it neither socially nor morally responsible.”

“And what is your idea of fun, Just? A cocktail party with your stuffed shirt friends, talking about how to improve your golf score or the price of gold per ounce. Oh yeah, so much fun.”

“Jensen, what has gotten into you? You hear what you’re saying? You want to fall into bed with a stranger? Catch some disease?”

“I’ll tell you what hasn’t gotten in to me. You. When was the last time we fucked?”

Justin looked as if Jensen had slapped him with the vulgar word. Maybe he had in a way. “We are busy men.”

“So I need to make an appointment with you to get _fucked_.”

“Stop using that word. I don’t understand where any of this is coming from. These… _freaks_ have infected you in some way.”

“Oh, fuck you, Justin. No one has “infected” me. More like woke me up. And they are not freaks, because they live differently than you.”

“Have you gone mad, Jensen?” Justin’s normally careful, modulated voice was rising in pitch, almost hysterical. “Boys dressed as girls, girls dressed as boys. _Fucking_ like animals in the wild! They don’t know what they are! And that… _Crystal_ desecrating his marriage vows with that other man.”

“That is not for _you_ to judge! You don’t even _know_ these people, or who or what they might be in their everyday life. So what if they are dressed up as girls or boys. They are exploring their sexuality or challenging gender stereotypes, and I think it’s awesome.”

“I cannot believe I’m hearing this! You have lost your mind. You want to prance around in a dress and stockings? Paint your face like a clown or a whore?”

Jensen pushed himself out of the wingback chair and crossed to Justin. “You know what I think? I think deep down you’re ashamed of yourself _and_ your sexuality.”

“ _That_ is patently ridiculous,” Justin sneered and turned away from Jensen. 

Jensen grabbed Justin by the shoulder and made the other man face him. “Really? Is it? How come you won’t kiss me in public or hold my hand? How can you claim to be proud when you seem so embarrassed and ashamed of drag queens or men who act effeminate, or less “manly”? I wonder if you like me so much, because I’m so “butch”. Look at me. I’m over six feet tall, I’m broad and muscular, exactly what a “man” should be. What if I wanted to try drag?” 

Justin’s mouth twisted but he remained silent. 

“Thought so.”

“I am not going to argue with you, Jensen. I’m going to see if there is another free room in this place. You cool down. I’ll see you in the morning.”

The door shut behind Justin, and Jensen felt as if something fundamental had changed between them. He sighed, ran a hand through his hair. All the excitement from the storm and meeting Ima and her band of followers was starting to wear off. He turned to the bed, big, inviting and cozy-warm looking, but he didn’t get up and climb in. He returned to the wingback chair, sat down, and collected his thoughts. 

Only a few hours ago he had been…content if not entirely happy with his life. He had a nice home with a guy he loved, a steady income; he was comfortable. This whole ordeal had him rethinking everything he had been sure of. One lusty look from Ima had made Jensen feel more alive and desired than Justin had in six years. 

_Six years_. How was it he was still with a person he met when he was sixteen? A lot had changed since then. Or maybe it hadn’t but should’ve. After high school Jensen had wanted to take a year off and go on road trip, but Justin had implied that he wouldn’t be there for Jensen when he came back, and Jensen was so in love he hadn’t wanted to risk it. 

Then there was college. Humble though it might be, he had been accepted at UT, but followed Justin to Stanford because Justin said UT wasn’t a good school, and they couldn’t be open here in Texas, not that they ever were open out in California. He decided to major in Marketing, because it was adjacent to Justin’s Finance major, and they could work together, but it wasn’t because it was what he had wanted and wanted to do. His job was so damn mind-numbingly boring, it gave him no satisfaction. Every single life decision was made because of Justin. Now, sitting here in Ima Sogai’s house, he was finally forced to face the fact that he wasn’t sure if Justin would have done the same for him. Jensen had the strong suspicion that he wouldn’t. That wasn’t the way a relationship was supposed to be, was it? A relationship was supposed to be give and take, but Jensen did all the giving and Justin all the taking. 

He was twenty-three and already in a rut and bored. Even their _sex life_ was boring. Justin had been the only guy he’d ever had sex with—not that they’d been having much of that lately, and when they did it left a lot to be desired as far as Jensen was concerned. He wanted passion, excitement, to experiment, get a little rough and dirty. 

Was this it then? Was this his _life_? Just keeping things status quo, because it was easy, comfortable, and familiar? He would probably end up marrying Justin, because it was the right next step, and it was easier to go with the inertia of his life than break free. He had been with Justin so long he had gotten dependant on him. The thought had his breath hitching in a kind of claustrophobia. He wasn’t too old to make a change, but it was scary. It was hard wanting something else but just going with the inertia of his life. He wasn’t sure he’d know _how_ to go it alone, but another part of him was excited by the possibility. 

Jensen lost track of time, letting his thoughts drift, so many vistas could open up for him. He stood and gazed out the window. All the stars visible out here in the country with no light pollution like in Austin. It was beautiful, and peaceful and almost as overwhelming as Jensen’s thoughts. He turned from the window and crossed to the bed. Yawning he turned down the covers and climbed in. The mattress was firm but cradled him, and he wondered if this was one of those memory foam mattresses. Two floors below the party was still going on, but it was a distant clangor and easily tuned out, as was the occasional moan or cry from his neighbors.

* * *

He wasn’t sure what woke him, wasn’t even sure how long he had been asleep. What he did know was that he was no longer in bed alone. A warm body was pressed tight against him, an arm slid around his waist, and lips were grazing his pulse point. He inhaled deep, and his eyes snapped open. That was not Justin’s scent. Justin had been wearing the same cologne for years. The scent that tickled Jensen’s nose was soft and feminine. He hadn’t locked the door before he had gone to bed, and anyone could have taken that as invitation to join him—Crystal had warned of that possibility—but he had a strong suspicion who it was.

“I…Ima?”

A sly throaty laugh rumbled from his bedmate. Most certainly Ima. Jensen should bolt from the bed, let Ima know her advances were not wanted. Jensen had a _boyfriend_ , and they were _monogamous_! But the words caught in his throat along with his heart. Ima’s embrace was strong, and she radiated heat that soaked into Jensen, warming and relaxing him. 

Ima nuzzled the join of Jensen’s neck and shoulder, her beard stubble was scratchy and titillating. Jensen wondered if she was still in full drag or had perhaps changed for bed. 

“What…. what are you doing?”

“Nothing. Why? Do you think I should?”

“I…have a boyfriend.” He thought he did anyway. “And so do you: Tommy. What about him?”

That sensual laugh again, and it made Jensen shudder in Ima’s strong arms. “Tommy isn’t my boyfriend, he was just a dalliance.” Her lips skimmed along Jensen’s neck up to his ear. “Been awhile since I had a “boyfriend”. And where is _your_ boyfriend, sugar?” 

“I don’t wanna talk about him.”

“We don’t gotta talk at all, but I do like my lovers to be…. vocal.”

Jensen turned in Ima’s embrace, but Ima pushed Jensen onto his back, and lifted Jensen’s legs high and wide apart, so his heels rested on her broad powerful shoulders. Ima’s fox eyes glittered in the light. She was indeed dressed for bed. Gone was the bustier she’d had on earlier to be replaced by a slinky teal babydoll nightdress and matching panties, Jensen could make out the ridge of her cock as it swelled. She still wore her fishnets and garters, and that pleased Jensen. Those sensational legs needed to be showcased by the stockings. She wasn’t wearing makeup anymore, and Jensen was unsure once again what pronouns to use. With or without makeup Ima was still gorgeous with her chiseled jaw and sharp cheekbones. There was a prettiness that blended with her masculine features, and she was more beautiful because of it.

“You seem confident I’ll sleep with you.”

Ima wrapped Jensen’s legs around her waist and leaned down, her palms flat on the bed taking her weight. She brushed her mouth across Jensen’s in the ghost of a kiss that had Jensen aching for more. His cock was twitching, filling with blood.

“Mmmm,” Ima rumbled and rolled her hips against Jensen, their hardening cocks brushing together through their underwear. “Baby, I _know_ you want me. You wanted me the moment you saw me. But, then, I am pretty irresistible.”

Excitement and arousal kindled inside him. He reached out and gripped Ima’s bicep, feeling the hard muscle under the soft smooth skin. Damn what kind of moisturizer did he use?

Ima stilled her hips, fixed Jensen with an implacable gaze. “Tell me to leave. Right now, and I’ll go. Cross my heart.” And she did with one painted fingernail. 

Jensen licked his lips. What was he doing? Why was he hesitating? He had a boyfriend. Justin was somewhere in this house. Was he really going to betray six years of commitment, and for what? A few minutes of pleasure and excitement with a stranger? _More pleasure than you’ve ever gotten or likely to ever get from Justin_. Besides, Justin need never know. Just one time, one night of hedonistic pleasure, and he could live off it the rest of his life. 

“No. Don’t go. Fuck me, Ima. I want you to fuck me.”

Ima covered Jensen’s body with his own, pushing Jensen deeper into the mattress, mouth a hairsbreadth away. “If I’m going to fuck you, I want you to scream my name, my _real_ name.”

Jensen’s heart raced. He breathed in the sweet scent of Ima’s perfume and the heady scents of arousal and sweat. He licked his lips. God, he just wanted Ima to close those last few millimeters between them and kiss him. “And that is…?”

“Jared, sugar. My name is Jared.” Jared’s mouth descended on Jensen’s, hard and insistent, tongue plunging into Jensen’s mouth, sucking the breath from his lungs and making his head spin. He wrapped his arms around Jared, pulled him closer and kissed back with all the passion he could muster, hips rocking up against Jared’s. He slid his hands up the man’s broad back, feeling the muscles shift under the skin to knot his fingers in his long hair, soft and as silky as the babydoll he wore. 

Jared broke the kiss to pull the nightdress off over his head, baring his well-muscled chest and chiseled abs to Jensen’s eyes. Jensen's gaze traveled down Jared's lean torso and caught on a tattoo on Jared’s hip, just above where his silk panties sat low. The tattoo was a heart with a dagger through it, with the word Boss written above it in thin script. 

“Big Springsteen fan?”

Jared laughed before he kissed Jensen again. He nipped at Jensen’s bottom lip, tongue flickering out to soothe the sting. “Taste amazing, mouth so pretty and made for my kisses. Should let me put some lipstick on you and make a mess by kissing it away.” He moved in a sinuous roll, the hard ridges of their cocks rubbing together through their underwear. Jensen was so hard, harder than he’d ever been, cock an aching pulse between his thighs. 

Jared broke their kiss, a big, ringless hand slid down between their bodies to palm Jensen’s cock. “Wanna get my mouth on this. Bet it’s just as pretty as the rest of you.”

"Yes, Jesus. Yes. Suck me, suck me.” Jensen’s voice was a lust-clogged rasp he didn’t recognize. 

Jared pressed little hungry kisses along Jensen’s jaw, down his neck, nibbling and licking. His pulse pounded in expectation of what was to come. 

He kissed down to Jensen’s chest, stopping to tongue at a nipple, licking and gently biting, until it was hard and sensitive before moving to give the other the same attention. Jensen moaned and arched into it, electric current arced through him, lighting him up. God, how did he get to the age of twenty-three and not know he liked his nipples played with. What else didn’t he know about himself?

Jared moved lower, tongue tracing the lines of Jensen’s abs and following the trail of strawberry blond hairs below his navel. He tugged Jensen’s boxerbriefs down and off, so that his cock slapped up against his belly, sticky precome at the tip. 

Jared licked his lips, a hungry look in his eyes. “Knew it’d be pretty,” he murmured before leaning in and burying his face in the soft curls at the base of Jensen’s cock, tongue snaking out to lick his balls before sucking them into his mouth one by one. 

“Oh fuck,” Jensen gasped, overwhelmed by sensation. 

Jared raised his head. “We’ll get there, baby. Don’t worry.” He went back to nosing at Jensen’s balls, rooting around like there was nothing else he’d rather do than smother himself with Jensen’s balls, tonguing them with soft, teasing kitten-licks. 

His cock twitched and another burst of precome leaked from the slit. Jared tore himself away from Jensen’s balls and mouthed along the length of his cock, working up to the wet tip. His gaze caught and held Jensen’s as he lapped at the head of his dick. Jensen was not prepared for what that did to him, how it made heat rush through him and arousal spike higher. Jared curled his hand around the base of Jensen’s thick shaft, flicked his tongue across the slit before taking it into his mouth and applying gentle suction, tongue teasing the underside and the cluster of nerves there. Jensen cried out. His hips jerked forward, dick slipping deeper into Jared’s mouth and hitting the back of his throat. Jensen stilled, not wanting to push or turn Jared off. 

Jared pulled off with a lewd sound and pinned Jensen with his intense gaze. “Don’t gotta take it easy on me, sugar. Do whatever you wanna do. I can take it. Just give yourself over to absolute pleasure.”

Jensen groaned as Jared took him back into his hot mouth, sucking, slurping, moaning around Jensen’s dick as if he couldn’t get enough of the feel and taste, cheeks hollowing with each bob. Jensen levered himself up on his elbows and watched Jared suck him, his thick cock sliding in and out, Jared's lips stretched wide around his length, lashes fluttering in enjoyment, hand between his thighs palming his dick through his panties. 

Jensen twisted his fingers in Jared’s hair and thrust up, tentatively forcing his cock into Jared's throat. Jared took it and swallowed around the girth clogging his throat. Jensen let go and fucked Jared’s mouth with sharp jerks of his hips. Jared’s moans answered his own. The vibrations traveled up his cock and pushed Jensen closer to the edge. He wanted to hold off, wanted this to last, but Jared was pulling out all the stops; mouth, lips, and tongue an irresistible force, pushing him closer and closer to orgasm, blood on fire in his veins. 

A few more bobs and Jensen’s gut tightened. Another and Jensen’s balls pulled tight. Jared sank down until his nose was buried in Jensen’s pubes, hummed, and that was fucking it. He came with an exultant shout, hips jerking of their own volition as he spilled down Jared’s throat. Pleasure crackled through every fiber of him, leaving him weak and breathless. 

Panting with aftershocks, Jensen felt pleasure receding like the storm. Jared released Jensen’s cock, mouth red and swollen from his activities. Jensen reached out and grabbed him by the shoulders, hauled him up, and smashed their mouths together in a fierce kiss, sucking the taste of himself from Jared’s mouth. 

“That was amazing,” Jensen said breaking the kiss.

“That ain’t nuthin’ sugar.” He pulled from Jensen’s embrace. “On your knees, turn around,” Jared ordered, voice a warm husk that made Jensen’s toes curl. 

It surprised Jensen, but it was what he was used to. Justin liked to fuck him from behind or missionary if it was a special occasion. He had hoped to be able to look into Jared's eyes when they fucked, but he'd take what he could get. 

Jared’s soft hands smoothed across the expanse of Jensen’s back. “Freckles,” Jared whispered against the knob at the top of Jensen’s spine and dragged his tongue down the curve until he reached the crack of Jensen’s ass. 

Jensen stopped breathing because Jared’s mouth was _right_ there. “What are y—.” The rest of Jensen’s inquiry was lost in a bitten off curse. His eyes slammed shut, and his hands clenched in the sheets. His mouth fell open on a low moan as Jared went to work, licking and swirling hot circles around Jensen’s most private and sensitive flesh, changing directions from clockwise to counter-clockwise every so often. 

“God, I cannot _believe_ how good you taste,” he imparted before diving back between Jensen’s cheeks, eating him out with more fervor. The wet sounds of it reached Jensen’s ears, and he blushed all over. It was without a doubt the most forbidden, dirty, and mind-blowing thing he had ever experienced. 

“Oh, Jared. Jared. Jared. Oh, please. Please, please, _please_ ,” he didn’t know what he was begging for only that he wanted more. He wanted everything. 

His heartbeat thudded in his ears, louder as each second passed. It felt as though his blood was racing from every other part of his body to the spot where Jared was licking him, every nerve ending alive with exquisite pleasure. His head swam, and he felt dizzy, as if he might pass out, helpless but to moan louder and louder. How could anything feel so _good_? It had to be criminal; in a distant part of his brain he realized in certain areas it probably was. 

He could feel every little thing Jared did with his tongue, every flick, every wiggle, every stroke and slide–. His wet tongue wriggled in a tight, insistent circle at his very center. A little pressure, and a wave of heat washed over Jensen’s entire body. It took him a moment for him to realize that Jared’s tongue was _inside_ him. 

Lord have mercy. Jensen didn’t think he would survive this night. Jared was going to kill him; a heart attack, shock, a stroke, or an aneurysm, maybe, but Jensen couldn’t think of a better way to go.

To Jensen’s utter disbelief Jared pulled away. 

“Jared? What?” He whimper-whined, unashamed of his need. 

“As much as I’d love to tongue fuck you ‘til you come, I don’t think that’s what you want, or even what you need.”

“I…” Jensen panted. Sweat dripped down from his temples and snaked down his back.”I don’t…. Jared.” His entire world had narrowed down to that one word, one name. Only Jared. 

“You want me to fuck you, don’t you? You _need_ a good hard _fuck_. Don’t you, baby?”

“Yes, yes!” he shouted with abandon. 

“Gorgeous.” The word twined around a throaty chuckle as Jared pressed his body across Jensen’s back and stretched a long arm out to the bedside table, opening the little drawer and fishing out a condom and tube of lube. 

Jensen had a fraction of a second to marvel at how well their bodies seem to fit together, before Jared was gripping Jensen’s hips and turning him over onto his back, shoving his legs apart with his broad shoulders. He snatched up one of the pillows and shoved it under Jensen’s hips. 

He gave Jensen a wink, popped the cap on the lube, and squeezed out some on his fingers. He circled Jensen’s hole, spreading the cool lube around before pushing in with one finger.

“Been awhile, baby?” Jared asked pumping his finger in and out, stroking over his insides, nudging against his prostate. 

Jensen gave a little cry and nodded, shuddering as pleasure spread through him. It had been over a month since he and Justin had engaged any anything sexual, and that had just been a rushed handjob. 

“Idiot,” Jared muttered with a head shake. Jensen didn’t ask what Jared meant, he knew. 

A dozen or so more thrusts Jared pulled his finger out, applied more lube and pushed back in with two. A little more sting and stretch, but Jensen relished it. He moaned like a whore as it faded. He undulated his hips to pull them in deeper, hungry for more, for Jared’s cock to split him wide and fill him up.

He felt sexy and out of control. It was new and delicious, and he wanted to always feel this way during sex. This was how he should have been feeling. He couldn’t dwell on that, because Jared had three fingers in him now, brushing over Jensen’s sweet spot with every other thrust, driving him insane. His fingers worked Jensen to a fever pitch until he was begging, pleading, shamelessly for Jared to fuck him. The intensity of his desire startled even him. 

Jared withdrew his fingers, hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his panties, and pulled them down below his heavy balls, freeing his cock; so thick and veined, oozing pre-come. Jensen bit his lip and moaned, torn between wanting it in his ass and wanting it in his mouth. He loved the taste and smell of cock, musky and salty. It had been so long since he had given a blow job, and a cock like Jared was packing was made to be worshipped. 

He tore open the condom, squeezed some lube into it, before rolling the latex down his length. He raised one of Jensen’s legs up and rested an ankle over his shoulder, lined up his cock and pushed in. The pain was a brief, sweet burn that dissipated quickly and left only heat and pleasure in its wake. He took Jensen’s hands, pinned them at either side of his head, holding Jensen down. Their fingers slotted together, so they were connected nearly everywhere as Jared eased himself out of Jensen’s body in a slow sweet drag before pushing back in, setting up a lazy rhythm. 

Jared pressed their foreheads together, eyes wide open and staring as their bodies moved together, giving and taking, covered in sweat. Jensen’s cock was hard again, and dripped pre-come onto his belly. 

Jared’s eyes, wide with lust, held so many swirling emotions in their depths, desire and warmth, things Jensen wasn't used to seeing directed at him. He didn’t know what he was feeling, only that it was intimate to the extreme and frightening.

Something deep in Jensen’s soul cracked open, broke, and shattered into pieces. All of his adult life he thought the singers and writers of the world had made up the intensity of sex, but it was all true, like some secret club he had been uninitiated to until now. He felt cheated and angry, mostly at himself for entertaining the idea of settling with Justin. It was a hell of a time to have an epiphany, but there it was; he was unhappy, deeply unhappy and lost as how to go about changing his circumstances. 

He willed it all away, and did as Jared instructed: gave himself over to the absolute pleasure of Jared’s lovemaking. 

He arched, moaned, writhed, ran his hands all over Jared’s sweat-slick body, back, arms, chest. He gripped Jared's ass in his hands and squeezed, urging him to fuck harder, faster, deeper. He pulled Jared down into a deep kiss, devouring his mouth, biting his lips, and sucking on his tongue. 

The tension building at the base of his spine grew faster, the need to come rising, his balls pulled tight to his body. He clung to Jared, fingers digging into hard muscle. 

“Close, baby?” Jared purred, thrusts increasing in speed and intensity. 

“Yes! Touch me! Touch me, make me come. Wanna come for you.”

Jared wrapped a hand around Jensen’s cock, barely got one stroke off before the tension inside him snapped, and he came hard, harder than the first time, with a guttural scream, pulsing hot and thick over Jared’s fist. 

“So fuckin’ hot watchin’ you fall apart,” Jared’s voice was low, raw, and drenched in sex. 

Jensen twitched with aftershocks, legs akimbo as Jared’s movements became rougher, more animalistic as the instinct to fuck and come took over. He never would have guessed beneath the makeup, heels, and panties was this…beast, this total Alpha male, and the juxtaposition was electrifying.

He gripped Jensen’s hips, drove in deeper, harder, three, four more thrusts, and he was coming with a shout, head thrown back surrendering to his orgasm. Jensen sighed, arched, and clenched his inner muscles around the hard flesh throbbing inside him. 

After a few last shallow thrusts to ride out the aftershocks of his release, Jared collapsed onto Jensen with a rumble of pleasure. They breathed together, the air thick with sweat and sex. Jensen wanted to soak it in. He didn’t get the chance though. As he started to wrap his arms around Jared, the other man, pulled out without any warning, got up, and left the room. It wasn’t unexpected, but it still stung. Justin always ran to the shower after sex, said he didn’t want to go to sleep all sticky and sweaty, but now Jensen suspected that he wanted to wash off the shame he felt. He didn’t think that was the case with Jared. Jared had gotten what he wanted and left. Simple as that.

Except it wasn’t apparently, because he was back within moments, completely naked but for his fishnets, the condom disposed of, and holding a warm wet cloth. He cleaned the drying come off Jensen’s stomach and the lube from between his cheeks, careful, almost loving as he performed his task. Emotion swelled inside Jensen, and he thought he may start to cry. This _stranger_ had given him more warmth, more affection, more caring, than his partner of six years. It overwhelmed and devastated him in a wholly new way. He could never have this again, never have it with Justin, and not with Jared, but he wanted it. He longed for it. 

Jared tossed the cloth aside and climbed into bed. He gathered Jensen in his arms and held him close. They shifted for a few seconds, each searching for a comfortable position, and Jensen ended up with his head pillowed on Jared’s shoulder, their legs intertwined, Jared’s fingers carding through Jensen’s mussed hair, lips pressed to Jensen’s crown, as the fingers of his other hand trailed lightly up and down Jensen’s arm. In a way it was more intimate than the sex, and it shocked Jensen how good it felt to be held. It seemed like it should be awkward, but it wasn’t; it was quiet and comfortable as they settled into the warm afterglow. The house was quiet around them, the party well and truly over, guests either gone or asleep.

“That was…incredible,” Jensen said breaking the silence. Really though he didn’t have words to encapsulate everything he was feeling.

“I aim to please.”

Another couple of minutes ticked by, before Jensen spoke again, curiosity about the man he was sharing a bed with getting the better of him. “So, who are you when you’re not Ima Sogai and hosting wild parties?”

Jared sighed and went quiet for so long Jensen thought he shouldn’t have asked, pushed for more than amazing sex—that’s what this was supposed to be about anyway. Not getting to know one another on a deeper level. He was opening his mouth to apologize and tell Jared to forget about it when Jared answered. 

“I’m Jared Padalecki.” 

That stopped Jensen cold. He was in bed with the wealthiest, most eligible bachelor in Texas and possibly the entire US, heir to both the Padalecki oil fortune and the Kammer Cosmetics empire.

He was tempted to call bullshit, but he had seen pictures of Jared from time to time in the paper, usually in a suit and tie with his hair conservatively combed.“What are you doing out here in the middle of nowhere?”

“The house is mine, been in the family for generations. I like to invite some friends and cut loose every now and then.” He paused as if waiting for Jensen to say something. When Jensen remained quiet, Jared continued. “This is supposed to be the part where you ask me why I do drag.”

Jensen shrugged. “Because it’s fun and you like it?” Justin would need something more psychologically deep and profound but not Jensen. He understood doing a thing for the pleasure it gave you. For Justin things needed a motive, an endgame. 

“Exactly. It’s hard being Jared Padalecki all the time.” Jared’s voice was slow and heavy with sleep. “Drag gives me an escape.”

Jensen could understand that. “I do have one question, actually.”

“Shoot, darlin’.” 

Jensen’s own eyes were drooping, but there was one thing he had to know. “How do you walk in those heels?”

Jared held him closer and burst into roars of laughter.

When Jensen woke up bright sunshine was streaming in the window, and Jared was still asleep beside him. He looked younger in his sleep, peaceful. A lock of his hair had fallen across his eyes. Unable to resist he reached out and brushed it away. The other man stirred, eyelids fluttering, before his eyes opened and found Jensen. They looked almost turquoise in the light, ringed in gold, and startling in their beauty.

“Mornin’” his voice was rough with sleep, eyes cloudy but becoming clearer as he blinked the last remnants of sleep from them. 

“Afternoon more like,” Jensen said. 

“Semantics.” After a beat he asked, “no regrets?”

“None,” Jensen answered without hesitation. “Last night was incredible and got me thinking about a lot of things.”

Jared gazed at him with interest. “Like?”

It threw him for a moment, having someone ask after him like that. He took a breath and started talking. “Like…I hate my life. It’s not mine, not really.” He poured out every thought he’d had last night: his regrets about living his life for a guy who treated him no better than a roommate or friend, about how their sexual relationship had dwindled down to near nothing over the last year or so, about wanting more out of his life, more from his partner, and the crushing realization that he was never going to find what he was seeking with Justin, and how scared he was about everything. Tears stung his eyes, and his voice wavered, but he didn’t cry. 

Jared listened, eyes sympathetic, and a soothing hand on his shoulder. When Jensen was done, Jared was there to offer reassurance. 

“It’s okay to be scared. Natural even. You’re contemplating making some serious life changes.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do now. I’ll have to find a place to live, move my stuff out of Justin’s place, I…I…” He was working himself into a bit a panic. What would his folks say? He was ruining his life. His stomach twisted and he began to hyperventilate. “I can’t move back in with my parents. _I can’t_.” Not because they had a problem with his sexuality, but because they hadn’t liked Justin. He didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of having been right about him. 

“Shhh,” Jared hugged him. “Breathe. Calm down.” Jared’s voice was gentle and wrapped around him like a blanket. “You don’t have to go back to your folks. I have a few real estate holdings—rentals—you can have one, a house or an apartment. I’ll give you a break on the rent and won’t even charge you security deposit or run a credit check.” He gave a soft smile. 

His generosity stunned Jensen. “I can’t ask that of you.”

Jared’s embrace tightened for an instant. “You’re not asking, I’m _offering_. You need a helping hand; I’ve got my hand out. Don’t leave me hangin’, dude.”

Jensen smiled, feeling more optimistic. “You’d do that for me?”

“Of course. I’ll help you any way I can.”

“Why though? You don’t even know me.”

“No, but I’d like to, if you’d give me the chance. Either as your friend or maybe something more, but no obligations, and no expectations. You have a lot to figure out, and I’ll be there to cheer you on. What you need to remember is you don’t have to make big changes all at once, but make little changes that have big impact, like ending your relationship with Joseph.”

Jensen didn’t bother to correct him. “I suppose I should get up and find him.” Jensen rolled his eyes. “If he’s even still here.” 

“Sounds like a good start.” 

Jared gave him a kiss on the cheek before they climbed out of bed. Jared went off to his own room to shower, and dress. Jensen dressed in the slacks and button down from yesterday and headed downstairs. The house was quiet, either everyone had gone home or had retreated to fill the many bedrooms. Jensen found his way to the kitchen and the ever important coffee maker. He rooted around in the cabinets, finding most empty, but located a can of Folgers, not exactly his brand, but he’d take what he could get, and brewed up a pot. 

He had just poured a cup and was heading back upstairs to begin randomly knocking on doors when Justin entered the kitchen, followed by Tom, and then Jared. He was dressed in black jeans and a short-sleeved Henley, jaw dark with stubble; he was a stunning looking man, in or out of drag, Jensen reflected. Jared took Tom by the arm and tried to lead him away, presumably to give Jensen his privacy.

“He can stay,” Justin said, catching Jensen off guard. 

Tom gave Jared a withering look, which baffled Jensen, and went to stand beside Justin. Jared shrugged and came to stand beside Jensen, giving him a smile and placing a hand in the middle of his back. Gears began to turn in Jensen’s mind. The looks Justin and Tom had exchanged the previous night, Justin going off on his own, and the two of them coming down together to find Jensen. Jensen supposed it was a mark of how over things were between them that he felt nothing, no anger or sense of betrayal—he’d be a hypocrite if he did. Just a finality that needed only to be spoken and cemented, before they both could walk away. 

“I have something I need to say to you, Jensen,” his eyes drifted briefly to Jared before coming to rest on Jensen again. “Something…unexpected happened last night. Tom and I…. Well, I did some thinking, and I think it’s best if we go our separate ways. We aren’t right for each other. Deep down you know it too. I’m sorry, but it’s over.”

Jensen exhaled, absorbing what Justin said. There it was. That was it. Six years of his life coming to an end with a few indifferent words. He nodded. “Yeah, I think you’re right. I can’t be who you want, and I can’t find out who I really am if I’m trying to be. It isn’t fair to either of us.” Jared’s hand moved in soothing circles between his shoulder blades. 

“I’ve got service on my cell again, and I’ve called for a tow. Tom’s coming with me as far as Dallas. Are you coming back with me to Austin?”

He wondered if Tom was going to stay in Dallas or maybe just go the whole way to Austin. He didn’t really care one way of the other, and it was no longer his business. “No. I’ll be in touch to figure out about moving my stuff out. I won’t take too long.”

“Okay then. Take care.” Haltingly he approached Jensen and hugged him. It was like embracing a statue but he hugged him back.

Jensen and Jared saw Justin and Tom to the door and followed them out, standing on the porch. The sun was high in a cloudless blue sky, limitless as Jensen’s options. “Is it bad I’m not going to miss him?”

“I think you can feel however you want.”

Jensen was quiet, watching as Justin and Tom were lost from view. “I feel good.” And he did, lighter, ending his relationship with Justin had left a wound, and it would be tender for a time, but it would heal, and he knew he’d be better for it. 

“Good. Dollars to doughnuts next time we see them they will be married…to women.”

Jensen considered that and found that it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. Justin was never the most out and proud. It wouldn’t surprise him if Justin sank into deep denial and hid in the suffocating safety of the closet for the rest of his life. Not Jensen, though. He wanted color and life, laughter and sex. 

“Where do I go from here?” He hoped he didn’t sound as lost and pathetic as he felt. 

Jared put an arm around his waist, pulled him close, and pressed a kiss to his temple. “Wherever you want, Jensen.”

 _Wherever I want_. His fear was still there, but determination was eclipsing it. New and exciting avenues were opening up before him, and Jensen couldn’t wait to see where they would lead.


End file.
